Overprotective Cowboy: A Mulbury Boys Novel (Hope Eternal Ranch Romance Book 2) Page 15

  She’d have to admit that everything in her life was a fraud, and Ted didn’t know many people who would do that. He’d seen it before as a lawyer. It was easier to live inside the lies one told themselves. They made their own reality, and they would not deviate from it, even when presented with facts and direct evidence to the contrary.

  That’s where Emma existed, and Ted was simply not enough of a pull to get her to come out and see a new way of being.

  He sighed as Second Best cried for more milk, and bless his heart, Ted wanted to give it to him. So he did, despite Emma’s strong warnings not to feed the babies more than one bottle each morning and night. She was actually trying to wean them, and she would not approve of Ted giving in to Second Best.

  “But she’s not here,” he muttered to himself, a muted sense of darkness gathering in his very soul. He was well-acquainted with this feeling, and he struggled mightily against it. In River Bay, all he had to do was look at Nate for the man to know of the storm in Ted’s soul.

  They’d go to the library or out on the yard while everyone else ate, and somehow, Ted would find a way to catch a ray of hope and wrangle it into staying with him for a while. Right now, Ted could not see any light at the end of this tunnel, and he started to spiral.

  He pulled in a breath and held it, trying to find something to hold onto. There was nothing. “Can’t do this,” he said, and he pulled out his phone. Tapping quickly, he called his mother. Pick up, he begged. Please, Ma, pick up. Beside him, Randy whined, and Ted reached over to scratch the dog’s head.

  “Teddy,” she said, and her voice alone centered him.

  “Ma.” He sounded like a strangled goat, and he couldn’t say anything else.

  “What’s wrong, Teddy?”

  “Just tell me a story,” he said, leaning his head against the fencing separating him from Second Best. “Something good, Ma.” He’d requested this of her before, when he’d been in prison. When he’d been struggling in law school. When he’d left home for the first time and been so lonely in his dormitory at college.

  “Teddy, who are you with?”

  “I’m feeding a baby horse,” he said. “I’m alone. Well.” He looked at Randy. “I have my dogs here with me.”

  “Go find Nate.”

  “I can’t, Ma,” he said. “Just tell me a story. Maybe the one when we went to Epcot.”

  A beat of silence passed, and then his mother’s kind, lovely voice filled the line. She detailed how Shane had wanted to stand in the line for the biggest roller coaster. “I can’t even remember the name of it.” She gave a light laugh, and that chased away some of the panic in Ted’s mind. “But we did. We stood there for hours. Britta had to go to the bathroom so bad, and we were all starving. Then, right when it was our turn, the ride malfunctioned. It scared Shane, and he wouldn’t get on it, even when they got it fixed.”

  “So we went without him,” Ted said, finishing the story for her. “I remember that.” He smiled, because life had been simple then. His parents hadn’t had a ton of money, but they’d saved for a year to take the family to Florida. His mother had made everyone matching shirts—green and blue stripes—so no one would get lost in the theme park.

  “Thankfully, that cured him of lines, and we were able to go around to the different countries and get snacks.” His mother laughed again, the sound of it made of pure magic.

  “Mom,” he said, lifting his head and pulling the bottle away from Second Best. “I’m really sorry about everything that I’ve done that has caused you any pain at all.” His chest suddenly tightened, and he wasn’t even sure where the apology had come from. Only that it was there, and he’d needed to say it.

  “Oh, Teddy,” she said. “You’re a good man, and you always have been.”

  Ted wasn’t sure about that, because did good men really go to prison? Yes, there was a lot that was unfair about his case. If the man he’d hit hadn’t been an undercover cop, Ted might still be practicing law. If his firm hadn’t been dealing with some shady characters, the UC wouldn’t have even been there.

  If it hadn’t been Wells’s birthday, and if Kellie hadn’t brought a cake, and if someone else—anyone else—had been cutting it, Ted wouldn’t be where he was.

  He also believed with everything inside him that he was right where he was supposed to be, and that his path here was the one he was supposed to be on. So while he didn’t understand it, at least it didn’t add to his spiral.

  “Thanks, Ma,” he said. “I love you.”

  “I love you billions and billions, Teddy-bear,” she said.

  Ted would never be too old or too rough to hear that from his mother, and he ended the call feeling a great deal better. He finished feeding the baby horses and sent a quick text to Emma. I took care of your babies. Are you all right? Can you call me when you get a second so I can hear your pretty voice?

  He didn’t care what the last question revealed about his feelings for her. He wanted her to know he’d started to fall for her.

  He didn’t normally take a break to walk by the river until afternoon, but he needed a few minutes to gather his wits back about himself. So he left the stables and headed for the trees that grew along the fence, which ran right along the river. This was where he’d first seen the blue truck and William Leavitt.

  Ted forced himself to breathe slowly, taking in the biggest breath he’d ever taken. He held it. Then blew it out. Once, twice, three times, and Ted started to control the negative emotions that had been controlling him since he’d sat on the steps last night.

  The sound of a vehicle had him turning right, and he couldn’t quite tell where it was coming from. Could’ve been Nate on the ATV or in the side-by-side, behind him. His heart pounded like it would be Robert Knight’s big, black truck.

  When the blue one emerged through the trees, Randy growled and flattened himself on the ground. Ted’s reaction wasn’t much better. “What is this guy doing here?” he asked the four dogs who went everywhere with him.

  Then, without thinking, Ted went over the fence and right off the ranch. “Hey,” he called, because William had his window down. The man looked toward him and slowed his truck. Ted waded right through the river, which wasn’t very wide or deep and sloshed up onto the dirt road where William liked to loiter.

  “What are you doing here, William?” he asked.

  Surprise crossed the other man’s face, probably because Ted knew his name. Ted marched toward him, pulled open the door, and yanked the guy right out of the truck.

  “Hey,” William protested as Ted pushed him against the truck. “What are you doing?”

  “What are you doing here?” Ted asked again, getting really close to William’s face. “And I spent almost six years in prison, so I know a lie when I hear one. Do not lie to me.”

  “Get your hands off me.” William shoved against Ted, and he fell back, his vision going white. Ted sucked at the air, trying to blink his way back to reality.

  What had he just done?

  He’d left the ranch.

  Strike one.

  He’d put his hands on another human being.

  Strike two.

  He couldn’t afford a third strike. “Sorry,” he said, sucking at the air. Nothing in his life made sense anymore. “I’m sorry.”

  “I know who you are,” William said. “And you best get back over that fence, Ted.”

  Ted looked up and into the man’s brown eyes. “Why are you here? What does Emma have that you want? What does Robert want with her?”

  William sighed like Ted was being difficult on purpose, and he looked down the road in both directions. “His ex-wife lives here, and his son is graduating from high school this week. So he’s back in town. He won’t be here long.”

  “What does he want with Emma?”

  “They were an item, back in the day.” William brought his gaze back to Ted’s, and it was filled with meaning. “I suppose he wants to see if there’s anything left there. His ex mentioned that Emma
was still in town, because she was the boy’s second-grade teacher. Robert’s interest got piqued.”

  That only made a bright fire burn in Ted’s soul. William took a step away from the truck and toward Ted. “I’m here to make sure whatever he says or does with her is legal.” His eyes shone with a new energy. “Do you get my drift?”

  Ted studied the man’s face, trying to read between the lines. Confusion filled his brain, and everything felt so muddy. “No. Spell it out for me.”

  “I’m a CI,” William said. “And trust me when I say you do not want me to tell your parole officer—or any police officer—that you just assaulted me.”

  “I didn’t—” Ted started, but he cut himself off. He had dragged the guy from his truck and slammed him into it. And not just a guy. A guy who worked for the police. A confidential informant. Regret lanced through him hard, causing fear to slice through his chest. “I’m sorry.”

  “You have an overprotective streak,” William said. “Reminds me of myself.” He got behind the wheel and closed his door. “Go back over the fence, Ted. I’ve been working on Robert for months. Let me handle this.”

  “Do you know where Emma is?”

  “She’s not on the ranch?”

  “No.” Ted shook his head. “She left on Saturday morning. Some garbage about visiting friends in San Antonio. She didn’t come home last night.”

  Alarm crossed William’s face, and he reached for his phone. “No wonder you’re worked up.” With that, William started to roll away from Ted.

  “Hey,” he called after him. “Do you know where she is?”

  But William didn’t answer. He didn’t wave out his window. Nothing.

  Frustrated, and feeling like he was right back in prison—inside situations he couldn’t control and couldn’t change—Ted did what William had said to do.

  He went back over the fence, his mental prayers now centered around blessing William with a forgiving heart so he wouldn’t tell anyone that Ted had snapped and done what he’d sworn to never do again—break the rules.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Emma crossed the bridge that led to Hope Eternal Ranch, her headlights carving a path through the darkness and directing her home. Driving away from Missy this time had been excruciating, because the child had cried and cried and cried.

  It was hard to leave her behind in San Antonio when she was cheerful, a smile on her pretty face and her hand waving as Emma drove away. But to see and hear her sobbing into Fran’s shoulder?

  So much worse.

  Emma felt like someone had tied a dozen bags of rocks to her limbs, and her eyes burned with exhaustion. She had no tears left in her eyes, and they were now a barren desert—and it honestly felt like she’d rubbed sand in them.

  She eased to a stop just past the fence, her tires crunching over the gravel. She cut the engine but stayed in the car. Only a soft glow came from the West Wing from a light someone had probably left on by accident. Probably Hannah, as the woman stayed up really late, and never turned off a light.

  Emma had needed an extra day in San Antonio so she could talk to Fran and Matt in a rational way, while Missy was in school. They’d discussed Robert, and what Emma’s options were. There were many, and Emma didn’t dare let herself start to think about them right now, or she’d never go to sleep.

  She left her bag sitting on the passenger seat and went inside the West Wing. She stopped at the fridge for something to drink and then tiptoed down the hall to her bedroom. The moment she lay down after changing into her pajamas, she fell asleep. She was just that tired.

  She woke only a moment before her alarm went off, and Emma groaned as she rolled over and dismissed it. She kept taking slow, even breaths, though her need to use the restroom wouldn’t allow her to go back to sleep.

  She finally got up and into the shower, realizing she’d left her toiletries out in the car. She made do with the soaps and shampoos she had in the bathroom, and started putting her façade together.

  The makeup. The cute clothes. The hair.

  All of it bothered her now. All of it felt like a huge amount of work for no reason whatsoever. She looked at herself in the mirror, and though she had the same pair of brown eyes looking back, and her hair really had gone into perfect waves that morning, and her eyeliner had never been more en pointe, she felt ugly.

  She wasn’t herself.

  The real problem was she didn’t know who she was.

  Sighing, she turned away from the confrontation with herself and went outside. A glance to the Annex only revealed landscape, and she’d half-expected Ted to be waiting for her, the way he’d done several times in the past. They’d held hands on the way to the stables before, and Emma missed him keenly in that moment.

  He’d called and texted several more times, but she’d been so busy, and then so preoccupied, and then so out of it, that she hadn’t returned his messages. His last text has asked her to call him so he could hear her voice, and Emma’s chest warmed. Maybe she hadn’t ruined everything with him.

  “Maybe you should call him right now.” She took her phone out of her pocket and did just that.

  “Emma?” he asked after only one ring.

  “Hey, Teddy,” she said, her mouth automatically curving up into a smile. “I got your message about calling, but it was really late last night.”

  “Yeah, I heard you pull in.”

  “You did?”

  “Yes,” he said simply. “Where are you?” Up ahead, she saw him step out of the stables, and Emma quickly lifted her hand in a wave. “There you are.” He started striding toward her, and Emma didn’t say anything, but she didn’t hang up either.

  He finally lifted his phone away from his ear, and then pushed it into his back pocket. “Hey,” he said as he drew nearer and nearer. He swept her right into his arms, and Emma wondered if this was what it felt like to come home. Funny how within the circle of Ted Burrows’s arms had become her safe space.

  “I’ve been so worried about you.” He stepped back, and now he wore displeasure in his eyes. “I don’t like it when you leave town like that.”

  “I know.” Emma bristled at his tone, but she couldn’t really blame him.

  “Where’d you go?”

  “San Antonio,” she said, already weary of the conversation. She’d enjoyed the hug, and she’d felt his relief at seeing her. But he still had enormous expectations for her, and Emma already knew she couldn’t deliver. She stepped past him and continued toward the stables. “Thanks for feeding the babies yesterday.”

  “Yeah,” he said, following her. “Is that what we’re doing?”

  “Is what what we’re doing?”

  “Emma.” He put his hand on her upper arm, and she stopped walking.

  She sighed as she turned back to him. “Why can’t we just be happy to see each other?” she asked. “I’m so happy to see you.”

  Ted searched her face, his eyes moving back and forth between hers. “I want more than that.”

  “You want too much from me.”

  “The truth is too much? So I don’t have to lie awake at night and wonder if you’re okay? That’s too much for you?” He shook his head, anger flashing in his dark eyes now. “Wanting to be trusted is too much.” He wasn’t asking now. “Okay, I get it.” He brushed past her and entered the stables.

  Emma didn’t want to go inside, but she had five days of work to do in four, so she couldn’t stand out here, doing nothing. She went inside the stables too, the sight of Ted’s back to her utterly devastating.

  She’d told Ginger about Missy. Why was it so much harder to admit to Ted?

  And if she couldn’t tell him, how could she ever sit down with Robert and tell him?

  “Ted,” she called, but he just kept going. As if a switch had flipped, he spun on his heel and came back toward her.

  His fingers clenched and unclenched. He stopped a healthy distance away. “I know I’m demanding,” he said. “I want the truth. I always have. It’s why I b
ecame a lawyer.” He refused to look away from her. “I started to fall in love with you. Stupid, and idiotic, and maybe I was just kidding myself. I know. I know all of that. But I also know a soul in trouble. I can feel it. I just know it. And I’d been in so much turmoil myself, and I thought we were a good match.”

  He shook his head and pressed his teeth together, making his jaw muscles jump. “I know it’s only been three weeks, but I feel close to you. It’s stupid, I know, because you obviously don’t feel the same.”

  “Teddy,” she said. “That’s not true.”

  “Then tell me where you were.”

  “I was in San Antonio.”

  “It’s a big city, Em. And I know your family doesn’t live there.” He took one calculating step toward her, his eyes glittering with that frustration. “So who do you go there to visit?”

  Her heart trembled. “I have friends there,” she said. “They’re like family.”

  “What are their names?”

  “Fran and Matt Black,” she said, dancing dangerously close to the edge of her sanity. He could look them up. Ted seemed to have resources and instincts normal people didn’t.

  “I talked to William,” he said. “He said Robert’s in town for his son’s graduation.”

  “Oh.” Emma didn’t want to talk about Robert or his son.

  “He said Robert’s interested in finding out if the two of you can pick up where you left off.”

  The very idea was laughable, but Emma didn’t laugh. No, pure horror had struck her right between the ribs.

  Ted lowered his head, his voice going with it. “Emma, I don’t want a relationship that isn’t built on trust. That’s the very bottom layer. The very most important. The one that should be the strongest.” He looked up at her. “So you should call Robert and see if he’s really interested. Because I’m not.” He nodded like that was that. “I’m already late for work. So I’m gonna go….” He fell back a step and turned fully when she didn’t try to stop him.